Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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