WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
