I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
