oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize