Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
