The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
