and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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