my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
smell my finger.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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