So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
