Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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