I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I need to calm my uterus...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
