Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
