My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
two words...techno handjob
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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