u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize