I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.