you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?