I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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