remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
