she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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