I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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