i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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