he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize