So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
