You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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