She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
