Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
