We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You were trust falling into bushes
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
