i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
