carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
