You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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