My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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