go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize