I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
