I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
tell me about the eggs
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
