you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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