You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
