Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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