Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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