even my farts smell like vagina
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
