You smell like a Billy Joel song
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i would one night stand the shit outta him
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
