Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize