I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
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And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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