You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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