it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
