Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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