im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
