How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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