so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
