he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No subtext here. People are naked.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
