If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
