What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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