david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
