Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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