absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
