its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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