you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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