Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
