I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
