Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
