Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
