whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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