he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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